


No right answers

by bielefelts



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Death threat with murder/suicide mention, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, shmk2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25578679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bielefelts/pseuds/bielefelts
Summary: Not long has passed since Shu and Mika had publicly announced they're dating when they receive a letter.Created for shumika week Day 2 prompt: Hurt/Comfort
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	No right answers

**Author's Note:**

> Please take note of the warning in the tags! This piece includes heavy discussion of suicide and some other darker subjects, so please read at your own discretion only. Thanks!

The evening is quiet as Shu turns to another page of his novel - a thrilling French mystery in its original language. Mika is washing dishes from dinner behind him in the kitchen. They usually did so together to split the chore, but Mika had insisted on doing it himself tonight as it wasn’t a lot he had said. A little strange for the one who usually jumped at every chance to do any activity together, but Shu hadn’t thought much of it. Rather, it had given him the chance to catch up on some pleasure reading. Busy as they were with work and school, Shu rarely had the time nowadays.

So engrossed he is in his reading he barely registers the sound of the tap turning off and the sound of slipper-wearing footsteps heading his way. Only when a figure comes into his periphery does Shu, while eyes not straying from his book, make a move to allow the other more room to join him.

However, only when Mika doesn’t come to snuggle up next to him like he expects and rather goes to stand in front of him, does Shu finally look up. “Are you wanting to come into my lap?” he asks, knowingly.

Mika nods, with a gloomy look on his face. “Can I? I don’t wanna disturb your readin’…”

Shu narrows his eyes at that answer. Mika usually didn’t ask such things nowadays, especially if Shu is engaged in such mundane tasks like reading. His quietness this evening also is strange, if not a tad worrying. “You know you don’t have to ask at this point.” He puts his book down. “Come here.” And he pulls Mika by the hand into his arms.

Mika buries himself deep into his chest, holding onto the front of Shu’s shirt like Shu would disappear if he loosened his grip. Shu instinctively places a hand placatingly on the other’s tense back.

“Hmm, now what in Heavens is the matter with you?” he asks, keeping his voice gentle.

Mika just hugs tighter and sways his head side to side.

“Do not pretend with me that it is nothing.” He rubs his hand smoothly up and down Mika’s back. “I thought we no longer hide such things from one another.” He continues rubbing for a while longer before he begins to lightly scratch the back of Mika’s neck.

Mika tenses again, still refusing to answer, but lets out a breathy whine incapable of resisting against the pleasurable sensation.

Shu places a kiss on the crown on his head to which Mika responds by placing one of his own, just missing Shu’s bottom lip. He is easily realigned, however, and is able to find his mark. They kiss softly, Shu comfortingly as Mika’s holds a tinge of desperation, as if he’s trying to carve it into his memory.

“I love ya, Oshi-san,” Mika breathes into his mouth. “I just love ya so much…” Shu stops, pulling back and Mika looks at him soulfully as he continues. “I love ya, is all. I just love ya.”

This response, especially the solemn tone and expression, surprises Shu despite Mika’s obvious depressed mood. Mika showered Shu with words of love and adoration, even before they had begun this romantic aspect of their relationship, but they had always been sweet and bubbly, not as if they were tearing him up inside. Shu’s own heart squeezes painfully in his chest as Mika continues to repeat that several more times, each shakier than the last, until at last, his voice cracks and tears begin to fall.

“I—I love ya…I don’t want ta…Hhugh..”

“Kagehira…?” Shu brings him back close, wiping up tears with his thumb and lips. “I love you very much as well. You’re my treasure. So please, tell me what is hurting you.”

“I-I jus’…” Mika’s erratic breaths hit Shu’s face as he tries to compose himself. “I…I just don’ wanna lose ya, or anyone. I wanna be with ya forever.”

“And why in heaven’s name are you thinking I or someone will disappear?”

Mika’s voice is small. “…I guess I read somethin’ tha’s scarin’ me a bit…I-It’s fine though,” he backtracks, “I think I’m overeactin’”. He moves to wipe up the remaining tears with his sleeves too, likely in an act to not to worry Shu.

Unfortunately, Mika is a tad too late for that. “Scaring you? Please tell me this is a serious matter and not because you read a particularly gruesome horror novel. I told you to no longer hide things from me.” Shu knows Mika _is_ likely being serious, but getting him to tell the full truth occasionally still meant Shu pushing him.

“Y-yeah…” Mika sniffles. “I mean-- …maybe? Nnah, I ain’t sure.”

Shu sighs. He’s thankful he’s grown more patient regarding Mika’s lack of judgement on these sorts of things. ”Well, then perhaps you should just tell me what happened so I may ascertain that myself?”

Mika hesitates, but after a moment he looks up. “…So, ya know how ever since we announced we’re datin’ Valkyrie’s been receivin’ a lotta attention for it? Well…I was readin’ through letters from our fans, and well, ya know how some of our fans were really happy for us, congratulating us and even sayin’ they’ve been rootin’ for us for a long time and some of ‘em…weren’t at all?”

“Hmm, the media has been annoyingly nosy ever since then, yes.” Shu recalls all the extra security and precautions they have had to ask of ES as well as their agency and landlords to give them some semblance of privacy. And yes, their fans’ responses as well. While Shu had predicted that some would not be pleased hearing the news, a few in particular were indeed very spiteful, telling them they were sinners or traitors, and even sending death threats. What curs. “Did you happen to read one that was malicious?” he asks.

Mika nods weakly.

Shu sighs and holds Mika silently. He doesn’t know what to say. They’ve discussed several times, even before announcing themselves publicly, that it would produce negative backlash from fans and sponsors alike. Mika had bravely said that while he didn’t want to disappoint people, he also didn’t want to hide their relationship, let alone discontinue it. He would go against anyone who would say anything bad about Shu, or both of them, and tell them to shut up and get lost. Shu had laughed when he heard those brazen words come out of Mika’s mouth, but he also couldn’t agree more. Shu would defend Mika and his art even if the whole world turned against them, but for Mika to have to read such an ugly thing from the very fans Mika held dear? It hurt him.

“I mean, I’ve read ‘em before. But, Oshi-san…this one. I’m…kinda scared, y’know. I jus’ don’t know what to do. I love ya a-and—“, His voice cracks again, “I w-wanna be with ya so bad, but if ya or anyone g-gets hurt cuz of me, I—“

Shu pulls back. “Wait now. Hurt? While I am sure it is nothing but an empty threat, if one is daring to harm me, or anyone for that matter, we must report this to the agency, Kagehira. I must ask what it said.”

Mika fidgets in his lap. “They said they’ve been a fan of Valkyrie for a long while now, that they’ve been in love with ya from the second they saw ya, and how much their life’s been saved with yer music and art. They’ve been religiously collectin’ all your merch, goin’ to our shows n’ events to meet ya, and even been to some overseas. They said you’ve talked to ‘em a few times too at meet-‘n-greets and that you were their reason for livin’. But…when we announced we’re together they couldn’t accept it. They noticed you’d been actin’ strange lately beforehand too and not like the “Itsuki-sama” they adored and ya wouldn’t just ruin yer idol image like that without a reason.”

“Hmph.” Shu stamps his foot, having heard enough. “People believe that I am some sort of rigid traditionalist in this current paradigm. If they have been following me so dutifully they should have understood I desire nothing but to change such antiquated ways of thinking in the idol world, including such stifling ideas that we are not allowed to love and evolve in our pursuit of art’s zenith.”

Mika laughs weakly. “Yeah, you’d think...It continued to say how us datin’ must be the cause. That me distractin’ ya now with such impure things is taintin’ ya and yer art. All our new performances stunk with it and it hurt them every time they saw us and…” He pauses to swallow and Shu braces himself feeling where this is going. “That if I don’t leave Valkyrie and officially break up, that they’ll come after ya themselves to kill ya before killin’ themselves…and they even said they’ve got money and underground connections and have already got our addresses here and in Paris too. We ain’t to take ‘em lightly and god—Oshi-san I’m just so scared, what if they really find ya and—a-and…”

Sobs wrack through Mika again and Shu gently shushes him, tucking his head into his shoulder, attempting to comfort him. He bites his lip. This really exceeded all the threats they have received thus far, and considering this was Mika’s summarization the real thing must have been extremely vicious to frighten Mika this intensely. Also, if it is true and they indeed have their addresses (Mika already needed to move from his initial apartment Shu had found him due to stalking and similar issues) and other usual whereabouts located then they will have to notify their agency and the police immediately. Being out of the public eye for a while aside scheduled events might also have to be an option. Shu wants to be angry that some fool like this had to resort to such cowardly acts to try and change something they didn’t like. This was not loving idols, his art – it was the very festering disease that ran deep in this world. However, he reins in his nerves. The first thing he must address is the crying man clinging on to him.

Shu again places his lip on Mika’s head. “Kagehira, I know it must have shaken you,” he whispers into his hair, trying to think of the best way to comfort him, “but I assure you, we will be safe. We will have the police investigate to try to identify the sender and notify our loved ones. In the meantime, we can move to one of my family’s private summer homes for a while if we must. It will be resolved.”

Shu’s reasoning calms Mika a bit, Shu thinks, as his tight hold on him loosens. And indeed, Mika lifts his head out, usual fair complexion blotchy and tear-stained and his voice strained. “But…but, what if, while we’re hidin’ they hurt one of our friends or family? Or…” his tone lowers to something grave, “once we find ‘em, they actually kill themselves…? Ya might not believe me or wanna hear it, but...I could really tell they loved ya, Oshi-san.” Mika's eyes bore into Shu’s. “People do extreme things like that when it comes to those they love. And if someone gets hurts, even the sender, I don’t know how I would be able to face everyone.”

Shu digests Mika’s words. Mika had really come to understand humanity and its intricacies quite well to become a competent artist, but even now he still lacked—no. He corrects himself. Mika did not lack anything. Mika honestly holds an empathy and love so deep to each and every one of their fans and people they knew that these events truly become soul-crushing for him. It is Shu who lacks in understanding true human compassion – this is what he has come to realize and acknowledge. It is why he loved Mika. He completed Shu in these aspects and allowed himself to see these sides of himself. But it is also why they could not always see eye to eye.

“Perhaps they do,” Shu finally says, “but their love twisted into something rotten and unforgivable. Utterly human as it may be to do such disturbing and distorted acts against those they love, I will not accept it nor will I do something to help this depraved fanatic who is so willing to hurt others for selfish reasons. If they require you to disappear from my life to be able to enjoy it, then they were never truly a fan of my art – _our_ art – Valkyrie.” Mika looks at him wide eyed. “It is because I love _you_ that I will do everything in my power to assure your safety and that we never part.”

For second he thinks Mika is going to cry again, but he keeps himself steady. “I love ya, too, Oshi-san. And I get wha’ yer sayin’. I really do, and I kinda knew you’d probably say somethin’ like that honestly and I wanna agree—Nah, I agree a lot with ya actually. But…are ya really okay with ‘em killin’ themselves then, Oshi-san?”

“No,” Shu says, “Of course I do not wish death upon them. However, I will say this: if it is their true wish to leave this world by their own volition then there is nothing we can ultimately do to stop them from doing so, as macabre as that may sound to your ears. We are idols, not angels, Kagehira. We spread Valkyrie’s messages of hope and enlightenment through our art and music, but in the end we cannot control who listens, let alone how people ultimately interpret our work and come to view us. If a fan decides to extinguish us, then that is their own undoing - I will not be silenced by a misguided lamb and neither will you.”

Shu’s declaration is firm and Mika looks as if he’s going to retort, but instead he shakes his head in frustration. “Nnaaah, it’s hard,” he whines. “It’s like there aren’t any right answers here.”

“You’re right,” Shu says, reaffirming his grip on Mika. “There unfortunately are none in this situation. We, as adults and idols, must simply move forward in the best way we can to take responsible measures and protect what we hold dear.” He making sure Mika feels Shu’s resolution before sighing in his ear. “So…don’t worry, we’ll get through this hell, just like we have all others.” 


End file.
